Thanks for popping over to the Nobody Scrolls blog. I’m no longer maintaining this blog so if you click on an article you should automatically be taken to my new blog and website:


But as you’re here, for the time being, let me tell you about how I can help you.

As the name suggests, I’m a direct marketing consultant and freelance copywriter/creative director. I’ll help you get a better website, better advertising, better online newsletters, better sales letters, better direct marketing. Whether you’re in business-to-business or business-to-consumer.

What do I mean by ‘better’? I mean stuff that actually works. Websites that drive people to buy, ads that force people to call, online newsletters that get people to click through to your website, SEO copy that shoots your website to the top of Google.

I mean the sort of work that improved Which? Magazine’s customer acquisition mailpack by 39%. The sort of work that helped a direct marketing plc’s share price double over 18 months. The sort of work that gave the RAC its most responsive press ads, and Sky’s best-performing customer mailing ever.

The sort of work that makes me the go-to consultant and copywriter for national brands like The Folio Society and Planet Numbers. The sort of financial or charity copywriting work that top London ad agencies can’t do themselves and call me in to write. The sort of work that turns an ambitious local startup into a serious player—and quickly—whether you’re selling to consumers or other businesses.

Who the hell am I?

Before setting up Simon Plent Direct Marketing I worked as Executive Creative Director for two top London direct marketing agencies (Grey Integrated and Lowe Direct, since you ask) and then I was UK Promotion Director for The Reader’s Digest Association for five years.

This means I can work with you as your in-house Marketing Director, helping you to create your marketing and contact strategies and then implement them efficiently and cost-effectively. I charge you a monthly fee based on the number of days I work with you.

Or I can simply deliver the creative work for you as your Copywriter and/or Creative Director. From writing the copy and sending you a Word doc to overseeing the whole process including art direction & design and website development and build. I’ll charge you job by job. I’m not the cheapest out there. But neither am I the most expensive. But I’ll cost your charge to the last penny before beginning to work and I’ll deliver within budget, on time, every time.

Needless to say, I’m a LTD company and registered for VAT.

Sounds good? Click Contact at the top of the page, tell me a little about what you’re looking for, and I’ll get back to you asap. Even better, call me on 0781 393 6884 (normal UK office hours, please!)

PS If you’re wondering why my blog is called Nobody Scrolls, it’s because practically every self-styled web-marketing, internet ‘expert’ continues to tell me that nobody reads long copy on a website. Utterly untrue.